You’d be amazed at how many versions of this refrain I hear:
“My partner just doesn’t want sex as much as I do.”
“My husband has lost all interest in sex or intimacy.”
“When my wife says yes to sex, it seems she is only doing it for my benefit.”
“We hardly have sex anymore.”
First off, I feel for you! Disconnection from sexual intimacy with your partner can be heart-breaking on so many levels.
But I believe there’s hope for you.
Here are two ways you can solve this problem:
- Identify what it is you really want from “sex.” We seek sex when very specific needs are not being met. Is it orgasm? Connection? Touch? Tenderness? Intimacy? If you can figure out the central theme of your desire, you have a better chance of enrolling your partner in the kind of play that will be most satisfying.
- Leave your expectation at the door. This is the single biggest difference I have made to increase frequency and gratification in my own sex life. When I was focused on all the “sex” and orgasms I wasn’t having, or wasn’t “giving” my partner, I felt sexually frustrated and guilty. When I let go of my idea that “sex” was defined in a very specific way (penis-in-vagina, or necessarily involving orgasms for both partners), it opened up a world of possibilities for sexual play and gratification.
But why am I telling you all this? I went back to the survey you filled out for me months ago, and I saw that this was the most prevalent problem that people were facing in their sex lives. Every partnership goes through some kind of “dry spell” at some point, for scads of different reasons. You’re not alone.
If these two solutions don’t seem like the right ones for you, don’t dispair. There are probably hundreds of other possible solutions to try. And I love problem-solving! Just book a free 30 minute discovery call with me, and together we’ll figure out which ones you should try next.
I’m opening up more time in my schedule this week (even on Saturday), so I can help you enroll your partner in a satisfying sexual experience ASAP!
Here’s the link to my calendar. Just click it and pick a time, and let me help you get on the road back to beautiful, fulfilling intimacy with your lover. (Even if it’s yourself! Ask me how…)
Talk to you soon!
P.S. If it sounds like I’m giving you a gentle push, I am! Putting off these conversations will only create more distance in your relationship. Schedule a call with me today, and let me help you get your sex back on track.