Sexting Vol. 7: Kinky Sexts!

I have to beg your forgiveness for not posting these sooner! I’ve tried to make them extra-hot to make up for it. ūüėČ

These sexts are on the slightly¬†hardcore side, and may not be your style. However with the massive popularity of 50 Shades of Gray these days, I think a lot more people are realizing that rough play and other things labeled as “kinky” might be more desirable to them than they thought.

Sext messages are a world of fantasy. They’re intended for the turn-on factor… Sending a bunch of things to a lover or potential lover in a message isn’t necessarily a set of instructions or a prescription for what *ABSOLUTELY MUST HAPPEN* next time you’re in each other’s physical presence. You may want to clarify that with your words at some point, just to be clear about your intentions. Saying¬†something like “This sounded really hot to me, but I’m nervous about actually doing it. Can we go slow if we do decide to try something like this?” or “This sounds totally sexy, but I think I need to do a little research on safety before I jump in to it. Would you like to learn about this with me?” could lead to some jaw- (and potentially pants-) dropping fun!

The main thing to remember with things that might be a little edgy, especially with manipulation or degradation play, is that you need to be clear that your partner is ok with being called a dirty boy/girl, or a whore, or a slut, or whatever it is. Using these terms with a partner when you’re not sure could trigger a past trauma or insult, and lead things very much *away* from the bedroom/playpen.

For those of you unfamiliar with some of the terms involved in kink play, I’ve defined some of the more common terms below today’s list. There are tons of kinky glossaries out there, and if you’re really interested in Dom/Sub play, check out The New Topping Book, and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. They are widely considered to be authorities on the subject, and their books (also including The Ethical Slut) are excellent resources on BDSM and non-traditional relationships. (More on polyamory and other non-trad relating in a future post.)

But if this stuff is old hat for you, then by all means, carry on! And post some of your best kinky sexts for the rest of us to play with. ūüėČ

  1. So, who’s going to be the slave tonight? I think it’s my turn…
  2. I’ve been extremely naughty today… I am *sure* I need a spanking.
  3. Is it your birthday? Because I want to spank you until you can’t sit for a week…
  4. This 50 Shades thing seems to be all the rage… Shall we get out the blindfolds and riding crops tonight?
  5. I love the feeling of being helpless when you look at me with lust in your eyes… Will you tie me up and “have your way with me?” (By “your way,” I mean sex, and stuff…)
  6. What is it you like about spanking? I like the sting…
  7. I want to watch you squirm while I tease you relentlessly. You’re not allowed to come until I say so tonight.
  8. Here is a list of things for you to acquire for our date tonight: Candles (the dribbly kind), matches, feathers, blindfold, ice cubes, zip ties, and possibly a belt. (The one I’ll be taking off of your pants will probably be sufficient.) Who will be administering what to whom can be discussed during dinner. ūüėČ
  9. I want you all to myself this week. I want every ounce of your lust. You’re not allowed to pleasure¬†yourself in any way. Your orgasms belong to me, and I will collect them in 5 days. If you touch yourself, I’ll have to punish you. And I *Will* know. I *Always* know.
  10. I love the marks that rope you tied me up with last night left on my wrists and around my chest… I never thought mild abrasions could be so sexy.

 

Glossary:

BDSM: Bondage, Domination/Submission, Sadism/Masochism (the second S is multi-purpose).

Bondage: the act of binding, tying, taping, or otherwise immobilizing, usually of body parts. (Although I suppose you could perform bondage on pretty much anything, although inanimate objects can’t give proper consent…)

Consent: The single most important word in any kind of relationship, sexual, kinky, or a handshake in the park. (This is not a euphemism. I literally mean an actual handshake. There are implied consent behaviors that go on here… more on consent in another post…) Consent is the act of verbally or non-verbally requesting and receiving, or being asked and giving, permission to do something to/with/for/on/near/[insert other preposition here] someone else/you.

Dom: Dominant partner; the person in control, giving direction, instruction, punishment, bondage, etc. to anyone who has agreed to be in a position submissive to them.

Hard Limits: Things that are agreed by all parties that they will not do or attempt during a scene.

PE: Power Exchange; dominance/submission play involving someone having complete control over someone else; the submissive does only and anything the dominant tells them to, or risks being punished in whatever way the dom sees fit. (There are always agreed upon limitations, see Soft and Hard Limits.)

Scene: a duration of time where one or many BDSM acts are being performed.

Soft Limits: Things that are either undesired or unfamiliar to one or more of the people involved in the scene/PE, but could be experimented with under certain circumstances, and with epic volumes of communication and consent from both parties re: tolerances.

Sub: Submissive partner; the person receiving direction, instruction, punishment, bondage, etc. from anyone they have set up this kind of arrangement with.

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